Psychology of the man
Beginning with this delicate subject, I recognize the “underwater stones” that stand before me because I still do not have children, but for a psychologically rewarding man, his mother has a key role to play. In this sense, the mother-son relationship can grow into drama, because when the sons are mature they are in the process of establishing sexual relations with a person of the same sex as their mother.
In order to achieve the psychological distinction between their potential partner and mother, separation is necessary. Otherwise, the territories will merge and men will pass on the attributes of their own mother to women. I mean the Oedipus complex , which is expressed in testing the son’s love affair with the mother and the affective incest that prevents the boy from becoming a man.
The mother must realize how difficult her son’s transition to the man is, especially when the father is not present enough. She must accept that the little man can not be her friend, partner, or lover. Real mourning is set. The mother must learn to relax the reins of her descendant and find her place as a woman without trying without compensating her loneliness, becoming absolutely necessary for her son.
In the absence of dialogue, the future man often finds no worthy way to “leave” his mother, especially if he has replaced his wife (especially when mothers do not adequately fulfill their functions as such). Then the women burden their sons with these duties. / RTI & gt; Usually sons go away with bangs or crashes or with a quiet silence. To avoid this turn of events, the mother must be ready to let her son follow the path of autonomy when she turns 14
She has to understand that in order to defeat her motherly complex and find her place in life to develop and manage to self-produce, the son will have to overcome her own tendency to think that life will always be easy and seamless . That he would have to conquer the fear and to grasp the difficulties. For that purpose, it is necessary to mobilize all the power of its character, which is forged only in the triumphs.
That is why the mother must, as far as possible, from a certain point in time be forced to let it alone fight the vicissitudes of life. And this is the way not to allow affective incest. These are the so-called “mummy sons” who are not even motivated to create their own families because they have already “married” to their mothers. / Contrary to popular opinion, men are not motivated by strength but by fear of physical struck, by defeat, by the need to compete with stronger ones. And courage is not gained when the future man behaves for his mother’s skirts.
The little man has his own life and his own way. What the mother should do in many cases is to get rid of it as soon and as often as possible. And this is particularly difficult because she feels she has done her own best this time – love, the ability to guide and care.
The mother may also reduce the risk of conflict between herself and her son by refusing to be the father’s ambassador. She should rather leave the latter alone to establish a relationship with the child. And in no case should be afraid to send his own son to explain with him. No wonder being surprised by the result. This means stop worrying and learning to pull back and relax the reins.
From what has been said so far, it seems that “male mums” find themselves in a rather unenviable position. They must only experience altruistic love for their sons. Otherwise, they risk their own happiness, as well as the happiness of the future man.