Psychology of the child [age between 1 and 3 years]
This article focuses on child psychology and its development, a pleasant reading.
Play with other children
During the first year of life of children, the first immediate interactions are at 18 and 12 months of age. At this age
children strive to play one another.
Individual play at an early age has as its components a game of each of the children with their toys. The beginning of the joint game is a game of the children with each other, not one another. In the third year children start to play with other children more and more.
The development of thinking represents the construction of new concepts. To construct new concepts we judge the development of speech and the appearance of new words in it.
The speech appears in the first year of life, and by the end of the early age it acquires all the typical qualities of human speech.
At the beginning of the second year the child understands about 50 words and uses (speaks) about 20 of them.
Steps in mastering speech
First individual words ( 12-18 months old ). During this period, the number of spoken words slowly increases to about 50 and the number of words spoken is significantly higher.
At 18 months of age, there is a transient moment in the construction of speech, and hence in thinking. Thinking is a process of constructing concepts. With the help of concepts we can think ..
The concept is one of the main forms of thinking, in which the essential signs of objects are presented in summary, their characteristics color, shape and so on. n.
This is precisely the meaning of childhood – a long period of constructing concepts. He quickly thinks and acts quickly not the one in which the thought processes are running fast (or he who has fast legs and fast hands) and he who has developed concepts for solving related tasks.
After 18 months of age, the number of spoken words rises sharply and rapidly. It is believed that at this age the child is happy to say a whole sentence. He accompanies him with gestures and intonation expressing an emotional state.
After 18 months of age, children begin to make the first sentences. The structure of human speech appears at 18 months of age, the first sentences being composed of two words without alliances, prepositions and other additional components of the speech of the elderly man.
At the end of the second year theprepositions and endings, the maturities, the auxiliary verbs appeared. Children’s speech is over-regulated, children avoid using speech forms that are an exception to the rules.
Towards the end of the second year the child understands several hundred words and regularly uses them in their speech.
In the second year of life complex sentences, composed of two or more simple sentences, appear. The new words and their meanings are assimilated by the ritual of naming.
Show objects, name them. Repair the child when the name is spoken. This way you develop his intellect.
There are enough 2 – 3 titles for the new word, and children start using it.
From the beginning of the second to the end of the third year, the grammatical rules and the process of perceiving the human speech were intensively utilized. Children teach grammatical rules, listening. Adult speech seems to take the rules out of it.
The quality of speech directly depends on the quality and amount of speech that children have the opportunity to perceive from the surrounding elderly people. If adults often talk to children, their speech develops much better than if the kids talk a little.
For a very short time in two years, the children’s speech has already evolved from the most primitive speeches to the conscious expression of thoughts. Free speech is rapidly evolving, consisting of complex, grammatically correct sentences.
Towards the end of the third year, the child is already able to know the world around him on the basis of a verbal description. Concepts of already established concepts begin to build. Interestingly listening to tales, poems, telling their first tale.
Reading and telling stories is particularly important because the images of the characters and the situations in which they are located indicate to the child what is most likely to happen in the real world.
The child has some expectations about life events. The hero’s actions serve as an example and point to the child how to solve certain problems. An example of this may be the story of Sleeping Beauty. Listening to this tale, the little girl creates expectations and a desire to meet her prince.
A conscious or no longer grown child forms a psyche of what is to be the relationship between a man and a woman. So the little girl listening in her childhood this tale is looking for her prince, and every boy is looking for her princess. So if you want your kids to be smart read their tales. If you want to become smarter, read them more talk.
Towards the end of the second year the children know about 200 words, and by the end of the third year 1000 words and in fact have fully mastered the rules for expressing the native language.
Speech absorption has three psychic components:
1 / build a complete mental picture of the sequence of sounds that form the word
2 / build a complete mental psychological image of a sequence of physical actions to pronounce the sounds from which the word is formed.
3 / building a general and mental imagery of the word – the two upper components are included. It is also important here to say that children who speak in more than one language assimilate languages more slowly and speak later.
Appearance of consciousness
Consciousness means knowing about yourself and the surrounding world. It is the consciousness that distinguishes people from animals. The word of consciousness in human speech is the word “I”.
Consciousness appears at the end of the third year . This is the reason why the first memories of man are of this age. The first memories are fragmented and spaced in a small amount of time.
The existence of a memory, that is, a concept of a happening / event, has long occurred that at the moment of the occurrence of this event in the psyche there is a concept of an interval of time, that is, events in the psyche have been located in time.
Between one and a half and two years of age , the following quality of the psyche occurs: at a certain point in the game, the children interrupt and view what they have done, that is, they have already developed the concept of a result of their own activity, ie a concept of behavioral programs a large number of individual components performed over a significant amount of time.
At the end of the second year of life, the child can bring a toy into the game to portray it himself.
The pronoun “I” appears and the child begins to associate the image of his psyche with the image of his particular behavior. For example, “I play.”, “I will sit down” and so on. Many children initially associate already established behavior with their psyche, that is, for their consciousness, their name, the mental image they have since the first year of life before they learned the word “me”.
In the third year, the cognitive interest-emotion is associated with the image of his psyche. Surrounding people are perceived as the emergence of a need for self-determination, that is, a desire to conduct their own behavior, different from the behavior and desires of other behaviors, that is, the realization of oneself as an individual who has the image of his own behavior; This is expressed in the periodic claim “I am”. This is a behavior that is being mastered at the moment.
In the third year the child begins to know himself in the mirror. This fact means that in his psyche he has an image of himself as an existing individual, that is, he has a reflection of himself.
From the beginning of the third year, the child has mastered the words of man and woman, that is, the concept of gender. The children mark their parent and other men and women similarity and start to emulate behavior typical of their gender.
By the end of the first year in the child’s psyche, an emotion emerges, which is a consequence of another’s behavior and emotional state.
The primary focus of the psyche at an early age and the mastery of the material environment as the most prolific activity is the subject. The child masters man-specific ways of interacting with material objects.
yche at an early age and the mastery of the material environment as the most prolific activity is the subject. The child masters man-specific ways of interacting with material objects.
For example, when a 2-year-old child shows a new subject at first, he carefully examines it, and then tries to understand the function of that subject, that is, the way it is accepted to be used by humans. Usually, ask: “What is this? “The child seeks to understand beyond the name even the universal purpose of the subject.
The game begins to acquire new qualities, and the child no longer registers the properties of toys that are visible to the eyes and hear the ears but seek to discover hidden properties that are not visible. The child starts performing the same action differently.
After one year and 5 months, the child starts only to create difficulties. It climbs on objects that can bypass, deliberately come upon small objects, passes from there, from where it can clearly not be that way. The child explores the surrounding world. This type of behavior can take as a kind of game.
The beginning of the second year shows the ability to substitute, use of objects in the process of play other than their direct function. For example, the dish can become a mirror, a cup cap and so on. On the other hand, the child begins to imitate the actions of others, and this happens after perceiving the behavior of others as their own.
With this phenomenon / the quality of the psyche means the fact that the child’s psyche is directed at one of the most prominent signs of the objects. For example, a prominent sign of every person is his head, eyes, ears, nose, mouth.
This is a child-centered centering and is locked into the child’s inability to allow the presence of other views other than his or her own. It does not serve as a communication, but only to reflect any feelings and condition of the child.
Ego-centricism has three varieties
1 / cognitive egocentrism that exists in perception and thinking
2 / moral egocentrism / there is a relationship between people /
3 / communicative egocentrism / exists in the processes of transmission of information to others.
Decentralization is opposed to egocentrism. This is the mechanism for overcoming egocentrism with a change in the viewpoint as a result of conflict, comparison and integration of one’s own position with other different positions.
Source overcome the egocentrism is communicating with other people in the course of which children are faced with conflicting viewpoints and gradually transform the concepts in their cognitive position.
Decentralization is the ability of the subject to assume the role of another person and determines the level of co-experience and hence the effectiveness of the interaction by another person.
In addition, the child considers objects and phenomena from the outside world to be made by people for their own needs. For example, the wind, the water, and the mountains the child perceives them as artificial objects created by humans.
Magic is the quality of the psyche. This phenomenon means that the child is convinced that people’s words and gestures can affect objects of the environment.
It is an emotion that occurs as a response to the emotion of another’s behavior. Contemplation presupposes that the child is able to understand the feeling that another person feels, to stand in his / her point of view /.
The first signs of re-experiencing occur in the second year of life. The fact that it appears so early indicates that this is the basic basic quality of the human psyche. In some children, the level of co-experience is much lower than in the first. After one year and 5 months, the child can calm an upset man, hug him and kiss him, give him a toy or something delicious, reflects all the condition of the other person.
Behavior at the age of two is directed at influencing the behavior of others, influencing them in accordance with their own desires.
The main psychic mechanism for absorbing the social environment / the relationship between people and their place in these relationships / is the imitation.
At the age of two, the child begins to reproduce the adult’s actions with the objects.
Beginning of the second year , imitation appears. Children repeat something they’ve heard or seen before.
Since the beginning of the third year, the role has shifted from imitation of a certain behavior to the imitation of specific people.
When two children play together, the more passive child usually emulates the more active, the more confident in themselves. When it does some behavior (for example, it goes up in the chair and jumps from it), then in a few minutes the more passive performs this behavior.
At first the children imitate the movement of people. Then she begins to emulate actions related to communication between people and the child wants to help the mother to house, to work something.
Children emulate these behavioral forms, which they master and do not imitate behavior they have already mastered and which they are unable to master. For example, the child imitates a person speaking on the phone at 15 months of age , while at six months or three years he does not imitate such an action. When a child does not do some tasks, such as making a picture of several cubes, she enjoys and smiles without turning to her mother nearby.
When the child appropriately reproduces some behavior, it receives positive reinforcement. Conversely, if it fails – it is easily offended.
If the action requires the child’s unfulfilled effort, it is again very bitter.
From the age of one year to five , children begin to perform all the actions they have observed in the elderly – put the doll to sleep, feed it, go for a walk in the forest, and so on. At an early age, the role of imitation is to learn above all motor action, that is to say, behavioral programs.
At the early age, strong behavioral programs (sequence of actions) are being built. For example, the use of the spoon goes through many preliminary experiments. It requires a lot of effort and exercise.
Initially, the transfer was performed, then the scooping, then the mouth to the mouth. Even more complicated is the use of the fork, which is being used for the third year. By the age of 3, a concept of time is being created within a few days – the words appear yesterday, today tomorrow.
Adoption and building of the concept of the social environment. Building a concept for another person. Communication.
The main type of environment surrounding the human environment to which he adapts, on which his survival depends, is not the natural environment but the social environment. The social environment is to say the ecological niche of man. For this reason, from all the objects that surround the child, with the highest intensity since birth, the perception and construction of concepts about the objects of the social environment, namely the other people, is being built.
Building a concept for other people is done in a certain way: after observing others by interacting with them by comparing the behavior of the other at different times.
For this reason, it is precisely the main characteristic / age of the childhood that it is considered communication, and in particular the immediate emotional communication with the surrounding elderly people. That is why one of the best aspirations / emotions / child is to communicate with another person.
Emotions are not equally intense in different children. This means that in the same situation different can react with the same emotion, but it is of varying intensity.
Moreover, if in one or another situation the child reacts with very intense emotions, it usually reacts with many and different emotions in all other situations. That is, there is a certain emotional background that is valid for all the child’s reactions.
In other words, this thought sounds like this: the same intensity of emotion causes different behavioral reactions in different children. The individual level of emotional and behavioral responses of individual children means the notion of temperament.
Can you judge the temperament in that children, as early as their birth, differ in such behavioral reactions as irritability, duration of sleep and waking state, are they inclined to activity, capriciousness, cowardice, reaction force, sensitivity to various stimuli .
Exclusive interest in the child causes the submission of various items. When an adult submits an object, he tries to provoke this action again – he places the object on the ground only for the elder to give it to him. The child himself seeks to give the adult all the possible items to which he is able to grab.
At one year of age, children have already built cognitive schemes for the subjects that surround them. The cognitive scheme for each object has one main component, which is called a reference sign.
For example, a cognitive pattern for a person is the head of the person While the dog’s cognitive pattern is the cognitive trait of the dog’s limbs. Changes in the cognitive pattern of the cognitive pattern cause the child much more interest than changes in the other components of the image.
After comparing the objects and analyzing them (i.e. defining their main components, interpreting one of the main components as a cognitive component, building upon cognitive knowledge as a cognitive trait, the nervous system unites entities with the same cognitive circuit into a mental unit that we call a category or concept.
The building of categories / concepts / are taking place simultaneously in the storage, analysis and construction of cognitive schemes. This, however, becomes apparently noticeable by the end of the first year when the child learns and begins to speak his first words. How do categories build? This happens again through communication with the child.
The child binds to the person with whom he communicates. But there is also contradictory data related to this thesis, for example, a child who attaches himself more and more strongly to a person when he sees a relatively uncommon (grandmother, grandfather, other person) than to a person when he sees frequently and prolonged.
In addition, children who go to crèches do not get attached to their educators anymore than they are attached to their mothers, although they spend much less time with their mothers than with the educators.
One more such fact: the children that their father cares for are not more attached to him than the children whose fathers are working all day.
And one more fact: the children whose mothers go every day at work are no less attached to them than the children whose mothers do not go to work and take care of them all day long.
It is clear from this that:
1 / the duration of communication does not cause child attachment;
2 / The cause of child attachment should be sought in the process of adult communication with the child anyway.
Therefore, we can say that child attachment is caused not by the amount of communication but by its quality, ie by the intensity of adult communication with the child, by the extent to which the child’s need for communication is satisfied. from the reflection of the environment in the form of building a concept for the objects from the social environment, namely the surrounding people.
And so: The child is more attached to an adult who interacts with him intensively. Although rare and weaker, he is attached to an adult who has been communicating with him for a long time, but loud, inextensive.
The most important condition for affection and therefore development of the child’s psyche is the benevolent communication, namely: responding to all signals coming from the child (eyesight, smile, crying, sounds), contacting the child on his / her initiative and in accordance with his mood. Communication and positive assessment of child’s actions and efforts, positive, approving adult intonations.
In communicating with another person, it has been reflected in the fact that the other person can be influenced to interact with him, that is, the changes in his behavior change the behavior of the other person.
It is clear that building a concept of an object of the surrounding reality requires that this object be perceived over a period of time (the longer the better), and for that period of time it can be perceived as much as many as possible states this object.
Hence, the way to construct a concept of a social object is the continuous observation (that is, perception) of this object in its different states. The behavioral program that responds to this behavior is communication.
One of its main activities, therefore, is to build concepts in the communication process.
The specificity of child communication
The strongest aspirations the child is after satisfying his / her physiological needs is the pursuit of communication with an elderly person. For this fact, we judge that when we take the child into his hands, he obviously experiences pleasant emotions, and when we leave him the emotions he experiences are clearly unpleasant.
If we too often hold the child on his or her hands, his nervous system begins to interpret this condition as normal, which should not be changed, but on the contrary bedding begins to be interpreted as an abnormal condition that needs to be changed immediately.
The child will give insistent sounds so that it is taken in the hands of his or her children, and his insistence goes beyond that of the adult. That is, we can teach the child once to be in the hands, then we will not be able to get rid of this form of behavior.
Therefore, the conclusion that we can make of this fact is that the child’s nervous system is set to interpret as normal the state of the child’s communication with the adult. If a child does not communicate with the adult nervous system, the system accepts this as an abnormal condition, a threatening condition that needs to be changed. The desire to communicate (ie. to absorb the social environment appears at the third month . The so-called complex of revival appears.
From the third to the sixth month, the desire to communicate is directed at every person who falls into the child’s eye. It smiles at every person who sees the smile, even if an ugly mask is shown to him.
After the sixth month, the focus of the desire to communicate is redirected by all people to the exact definition of adults, since not all elderly people communicate with the child.
The nervous system divides the elderly into two types:
1 / people who communicate with the child. These people’s nervous system of the child perceives as well-behaved.
2 / people who do not communicate with the child. The nervous system interprets these people as indifferent to the individual. To these people, the nervous system reacts with the negative emotion-fear and emotional behavior.
The desire to communicate takes the form of attachment to the first type of person / those who communicate with the child / while the second kind of person experiences a negative emotion-fear.
Sometimes the child becomes more wounded than other people. For this reason, pedagogues and psychologists have always tried to understand what the child’s attachment depends on, that is, the reason for the child being attached to certain people.
This question is of great practical significance, because if the teacher is able to get the child to be attached to him, obviously the educational work will be more effective.
Until about 50 years ago, it was believed that the child is most attached to the mother because it satisfies his physiological needs: he feeds it, raises it. Accordingly, the affection of your child has been linked to the way you eat, the intervals through which nutrition should take place. When should a bottle go? When to a spoon?
Building Values, Rules
Towards the end of the second year,children make serious efforts to meet the requirements that adults bring to them.
Since at the beginning of the second year the child learns the surrounding objects: walks, runs, fingers everywhere, opens the cupboards in his mouth every object he sees / so that many of the world around him pose a danger to himself.
This is why the need for adherence to the rules of conduct / need for bans appears. The child must be active and assimilate to the outside world and at the same time assimilation should not pose a threat to it.
The more affectionately attached to her parents, the easier the child is to deal with rules and prohibitions. That is, the absorption of the rules is based on the feeling of affection.
For example, if a child strikes his mother, we can tell him that he should not do it because it hurts her. In addition, the child is easier to learn to recognize the emotions of other people.
After one year and 5 months of age, behavioral qualities can be built up, such as restraint of aggression, obedience to relationships with other people, that is moral norms.
For example, toys should be whole, clothes should not have holes, all buttons should be available, keep order, listen. If, for any reason, the child is unable to do so, he is very bitter.
At the beginning of the second year , painting appeared. At first, as a scrawler, and at about two and a half years of age, the child appears similar to the object.
By the middle of the last century, the tradition of family life presupposes that the woman is a housewife and does not go to work, mainly dealing with bringing up children.
Since the middle of the century, this tradition has begun to change as the relationship between labor costs and the cost of living in rich and poor countries begins to move in the direction of alignment.
If you want to work to support the family budget, it will make it difficult for you to raise children unless you make enough money to afford a babysitter.
Sometimes the mother needs to work. That is why it is considered normal for the wife to go to work, despite the presence of young children in the family. Every year, the percentage of workers increases. This raises the question whether a child should go to a nursery or not.
The arguments of the crèche opponents are as follows:
- The child needs a primary educator to whom he or she will be strong. However, only nurses are catered for in the nurseries. Therefore, the process of attachment to one adult is disturbed and the child is anxious.
2 In nurseries the child gets less attention, love and encouragement as the attention of the nurses is distributed to a large number of children. As a result, social and cognitive development is slowing down.
The necessary conditions to be met for normal development are:
- The child has the opportunity to study the world around him.
- An elderly person has to constantly communicate with and encourage the child, to teach him, thus stimulating his development.
Children who go to well-organized nurseries build a stable attachment to educators and parents.
In some cases, going to nurseries provides better conditions for psyche than home cultivation. This is the case when the child comes from a very poor family and the parents are low educated.
The best results of crèches are obtained when the work is organized in the following way: for the whole group of children, there are three or four tutors simultaneously.
One educator only switches the diapers, the other only feeds the children, one or two educators only play with them. In this way, the child will look for exactly this tutor who needs him and will build a specific relationship with him.
Psychological crisis / 1-3 years /
The psychological crisis that needs to be overcome is a doubt shame-autonomy
Normal development is autonomy and self-confidence. The child sees himself as a separate and independent person, but who still does not depend on his parents.
Anomalous development – self-conceited, hypertrophied / excessive / sense of shame. The child feels unapproachable, Doubts in his abilities, has shortcomings in the development of elementary motor habits. Speech is underdeveloped, has a strong desire to conceal this inferiority from others.
Understand the limit of your child and try to take them for granted. The fact is that it is not always able to behave well and to be responsible for its actions. It is good not to form your expectations for the development phases.
Just as you can not expect him to go to a toilet shortly before he has learned to control the bladder, you should not expect to give his toys to the other children if he is not mature emotionally.
If you are too demanding besides uncertainty and confusion do not expect more than that. Encourage him, however, to set high goals and accept the fact that sometimes he will not succeed, but nevertheless encourage him
Padding and screaming
How to react? Try to provide the child with a separate space in which your attack gradually evades and avoid going into the confrontation with him about things that are not of primary importance. Of course, you do not always have to leave it, but sometimes it is good for the child to fight only.
You are able to determine exactly what triggered an attack. It is not necessarily the reason that it is related to something the child wants to get. He may just be hungry, tired and bored.
When you know what the attack is about, you can do it adequately. “I want” is often a cautionary alert, so a gentle embrace, a good word, or spending a few minutes with it may turn out to be all it needs.
The boredom factor – negotiate!
Sometimes the only way to deal with is negotiation. Try to make a deal with the child. Tell him that if he lets you finish what you’ve done, you’ll take him for a walk or give him something. Read a fairy tale. let him only make his choice and feel that there is some control over the situation.
How to deal with biting?
Very often eating occurs when the child starts to visit a nursery or kindergarten. This can continue until the third year of age .
How should you react? Remove the child from the scene immediately after the incident and tell him in a serious voice and strictly speaking what he should not do.
Very often the child will be scared just as much as if it only bites someone. If your child bites another child in a heated childish dispute, you can let him calm down the upset victim by embracing or giving the toy they have quarreled about.
If a child bites when he wants to draw attention to himself, be careful not to pay more attention to bitten than to his child. You can even say that he has done something wrong after you have reproached him.
Try to give him the best toys and spend more time on the injured child. Excessive attention to this type of unwanted behavior can actually reinforce it.
Children become aggressive to get something they know they need to possess. This type of behavior is very common in children aged between 2 and 3 years . So if the child learns that through aggressive behavior he can not achieve what he wants soon he will find other ways to achieve his goals.
How should you react? Try not to lose your temper in response to child behavior. If the pretenses are not serious, stay away and let them deal with each other. If it comes to a fight then engage. Divide the children and keep them aside until they calm down.
Refusal to eat
The only thing that concerns the child is how it feels at a certain moment, and that may be a reason to refuse to eat. If you experience negative emotions. he will not want to eat. He may be partaking of a particular food and refuse everything else, and then without any reason to reject it.
How should we convince a child to eat?
Do not give him huge portions and do not offer him a great variety of dishes – excessive quantities can scare him.
Offer small quantities of several dishes in baby bowls and saucers. Serving a variety of food will intrigue him.
Let the table look attractive, so it takes a little more time to turn food into fun. Keep an eye on your child’s fluids, as too much kills appetite.
Build a good diet so that the child knows what is expected of him. For example, you want to eat when you eat it and leave it on the table until all are finished.
If it stays more than 15-20 minutes and you are tempted to give it candies, cookies as a substitute for healthy food that you refuse and you reward for it will result in unhealthy attitude to it.
Like adults, children have their own preferences when it comes to food, so it is quite possible to have some foods the child can reject simply because they do not like it.
It is good to remember that tastes and consistency can also affect it. It may be helpful to include it in planning a weekly menu by going to the supermarket together. If you give him a sense of food control, you can enjoy the positive attitude towards food.
Problems with walking as needed
Cooking to the pot is another area where you also need to overcome a lot of difficulties because the child can simply refuse to your associates.
It is possible to resort to the toilet bowl as a means to control you and actually enjoy the fact that it has the power to annoy you.
From his point of view, the more you get angry, the greater the control over your emotions, and even being accustomed to the pot, the child may still enter a period in which to start to soak and such regression can be associated with the appearance of a new family member, brother or sister in the home, illness or other disruptions, and although it is very difficult to have an understanding of the child. Do not allow the situation to become a struggle for supremacy.
When do we start toilet workouts? One way to avoid problems in the toilet is to start the workouts when the child feels physically and emotionally ready.
The age at which toilet habits are expected to improve varies with each child, and many experts believe that two and a half years is the earliest age at which the scheme should begin. Below are some signs that you should follow and they will tell you whether the child is ready to learn a pot. Make sure the child has at least a few of them before training starts.
If the incidents are not so frequent, you will only make them upset. She will feel awkward. If you get angry or feel frustrated, try putting yourself in his / her place.
Instead of calling him, you talk to him how you feel. Explain to him that you feel bad because all this is getting tired. And it will be better for both of you for the future if you use a pot. This will save you at least the occasions when your baby resorts to the filling of the diapers as a means of attracting attention.
Battle in the bedroom
Many children protest when they are sent to bed. For them, this is mostly a matter of principle. The problem is that the protest occurs at the end of the day when you are tired and your patience is exhausted to deal properly with the childish problem.
Sometimes only if you are too tired everything is able to end with tears and hysteria. The child may suffer from parting with someone or be afraid of the dark, or be afraid of bad dreams. Even if he goes to bed without a problem, he can continue to remind himself of himself by asking him to take him water, take him back to the toilet, and give a signal that something hurts him.
All this is meant to postpone the period of falling asleep to keep you on the alert. How should you react? Start by creating a constant pressure regime that will help the child’s consciousness relax before going to bed.
Do not change the time you choose and avoid the stormy, vigorous activities of the child at least half an hour before bedtime. Observe certain rituals – taking a shower or bath, shaking, cuddling.
Read a fairy tale, sing his childhood song, then tell him a good night and leave the room. Do not go back to respond to every attempt to attract your attention.
If you leave the bed, be steadfast and bring it back without trying to negotiate. Every time you try to do that, put it back in bed and leave no time to engage in a conversation about your desire, but you need to make sure your child does not feel bad.
Problems with Dress Up
Morning is the other potentially troublesome period. The child may be firmly determined on what to wear or what to wear, or may refuse to wear it. Even if he has chosen his clothes, the problem arises when he thinks he wants to do something, but he lacks the ability, for example, only to want to put on.
Only love is this ability with the help you can handle and if you are under pressure. Most likely, at this point, you are trying to get ready for work and this can lead to mutual unleashing emotions.
Avoid dressing issues
The easiest way to deal with this problem is to try to anticipate and avoid difficulties if possible. When you buy clothes, look for clothes that are easy to dress and undress.
If choosing what to wear is a matter of quarreling and pretense, prepare the clothes of the previous evening and give him a choice but not too much choice. Select two toilets and ask him who he wants to wear.
Give the child enough time to dress, even if you need to get up early. The less you put on it, the less you will encounter resistance on his part. Turn the dress up into fun as you are chatting about the day you are about to do, or by making the child name the clothes he will wear – that will also attract his attention.
The techniques used by you to discipline your children will be greatly influenced by the way you are brought up by your childhood. From your character and your way of life too. You will have to think about whether you agree with a partner about a concrete approach – the old saying goes together, the lost losers surely sound meaningful as far as the family is concerned.
The most important thing is to be realistic about the expectations of our child – the requirements must match the temperament and individuality of the child, as well as the physical and emotional development.
My ultimate goal is to teach him discipline and self-control. Be consistent, so you will learn to foresee the consequences of your own actions, as well as take responsibility for them.
Today, most experts agree that an approach that emphasizes the positive effects of child behavior has a much more desirable effect than the one based on punishment.
Try to pay more attention to the child’s good behavior and close your eyes to insignificant irritating acts and disobedience.
Let the battles between you and you have moments when you have no choice – for example, if the child is at risk. Hear him, explain his demands and try to be an example.
Prudent and clear rules are the limit in which this type of positive discipline is involved. These rules build the structure of the childhood world and make it a protected place. Teach the child what is expected of him and show him how to behave.
Limit the number of rules to several, corresponding to their age. His language skills are still limited. That is why every imposed rule must be said with accessible words.
Talk to your child. When trying to impose discipline, it is very important to find the right tone. If you start the sentence with “you” and continue with criticism or complaints, the child will feel that you are attacking him and will immediately take up a defensive position.
A sentence like “scatter all over the floor and I’m really angry” tells him you’re angry not with him, not with the mess on the floor. Because he does not like what he hears it is capable of excluding your words. If he feels left, threatened or upset, it is possible to make even a nervous breakdown.
Instead, try using sentences that begin with “I”. This will help you express your feelings without making the child feel as if you are attacking him. A sentence like “I’m angry because everything is messy on the floor and I have to sort it out now”. It’s more about the mischief than about the child.
Hear your child
Encourage him to express himself in words. Especially if the natural way of expression is to throw or hit things. Ask him to stop his aggressive actions. Help better communicate by giving him words and phrases to help him express his feelings.
For example: “You have to be pretty angry because of your broken toy. “This will help him understand that you are aware of how he feels and offer him a different way of expressing his opinion and disappointment.
Find out what he wants to say. Words and gestures matter. If you do not give him the proper attention he thinks deserves while talking to you, the child will tend to resort to bad behavior to attract him.
Things would be useful for both sides if you are aware that you are intrigued. Watch it in your eyes while you talk to him and you can kneel in order to grow up.
Older children may ask you to do some work, something that is in their power and they can get another in return. For example: “If you take my shoes off, will you give me a candy? “Is an example of a child’s way of negotiating. Of course, you can not always agree, nor do you need it.
Too many bribes can create the impression that absolutely everything is open to negotiations that undermines your attempts to impose firm rules and do not dismiss this tactic lightly.
Why does not crack help? The reasons to avoid cracking
Since pain is not a real consequence of poor behavior, its application to the child even when cracked on the butt can not teach the child that it is wrong. What you can achieve is to teach the child to lie while growing.
Giving a good example is very important. Remember that the child learns from your examples and as a parent you have taken the important role in his life. Making him pain to stop bad behavior will teach him only to solve the problems of violence.
Rewarding the child
Adults often think that the reward for good behavior should be something tangible, for example, stickers, a small toy. But most young children are happy with a big smile and a warm embrace. Your assessments and attention are a sufficient reward.
Young children cry much, but these are not real crises. They may be annoyed and especially characteristic of some of them starting to show it as early as 18 months . At the 18th month until the second year , crises appear and are a perfectly normal part of the child’s development. They can be extremely intense for both parties but are important for child development.
Sometimes it is easy to see the approaching crisis, in other cases it can explode without warning, without cause. Seizures generally last no longer than three to four minutes, and generally fade away as quickly as they appear.
Once they are finished, the child recovers very quickly and returns to the usual state within a few minutes. He may even smile as if nothing had happened.
What are the crises?
The first child’s crisis appears almost as inevitable as a reaction to a particularly disappointing event. It is usually not a deliberate manifestation of irritability or agitation and is very common.
Such crises are related to the specific relationship with the child. At this age, the child still struggles with his continued reliance on you. Increasing independence can happen regardless of the fact that it wants to please you, but it also wants to challenge you.
Do not worry if during a crisis the child runs away from you. In fact, it does not want to go far, just feels the boundaries of your relationship.
Do not try to fight the temperament of the child or try to change it. Temperament is a type of superior nervous activity with which a person is born and with whom he dies.
That the child learns more slowly does not mean he is more stupid. Just his brain works this way, and your drive to change that will not do anything good. Rather, you have to adjust to his temper.
Use its benefits. Considering the individuality of the child and encouraging her. The child is your temple, whatever you put in it will be. His development will remain only his, whatever difficulties he has to face – mental development, knowledge no one will be able to take away from him. The basics are now underway.
Relief groups and psychological counseling
The development of these groups is a great example of the benefits of communicating between people who are in the same life situation. In these groups, you can share your problems and get professional and professional help from a specialist.
Of course, you can use social networking information and also share, but the difference is that in these groups the leader is a specialist who can not only direct it but also inform you about useful information. It is also known that any information of dubious authenticity is published on the Internet.
But there are also authoritative sites you can use. I run such groups and it turns out that my clients know more than some specialists on the specific topics. Participation in such groups with me is done with a pre-enrollment and a request for the topic of the event.
Author: Nelly Pencheva